When you have been in an abusive relationship in the past, you tend to be more cautious about who you enter into a relationship with in the future. It can be common for victims of previous abusive relationships to fall into a repeat pattern, but anyone can become a victim of these types of relationships. Whether you have or have not been in this kind of a relationship, there are some signs showing a potential abusive man that will help you protect yourself.
1. Speaks negatively of their exes
Many past relationships can bring up some bitter feelings, but for someone who is abusive, it is more than bitterness. Abusive men will still hold onto the anger they have for their exes and will constantly make this known. These past relationships of his will also have hidden clues to his abuse where he may even say that their ex “falsely” accused them of abuse.
2. Passes the blame to others
While he probably has many victims of his abuse, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t play the victim himself, a lot. He never takes responsibilities for his mistakes and always passes the blame to someone else, most often this will be the person he is in the relationship with. This doesn’t just occur in the relationship — it is someone else’s fault he doesn’t have a job, gets fired, is running late, even the smallest things, he won’t admit that he made the mistake. He plays the victim role himself too well.
3. Eager to commit
An abusive man will be eager to make you commit. They will seem like the perfect person and be incredibly charming to lure you in. Most often victims of abusive relationship only knew their abuser for a very short period of time before entering into the relationship. They will tell you that they have never felt this way for someone else before and will make you feel guilty for not wanting to commit as quickly until you eventually do.
4. Insecure and jealous
Anytime you go out, he accuses you of cheating; he doesn’t like the people you hang out with and just overreacts anytime you even speak to someone else. These are some of the first clear signs of an abusive man to look out for. These insecurities and jealousy will quickly turn into him showing up where you say you are going, just to make sure you aren’t lying.